Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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