I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
