Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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