Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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