Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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