He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
