I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
