you would pick up someone in the library
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize