i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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