One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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