I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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