I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
