my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Randomize
