Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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