Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
