I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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