Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
