Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
