Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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