2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
