Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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