i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
