When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
