is your mom at the bar?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
