Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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