I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
