I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
birth control should be required to get into college
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
