fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
