there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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