Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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