the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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