wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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