I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
