so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
