I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
