..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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