How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
