Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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