Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
