There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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