Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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