my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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