I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
