The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
