Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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