My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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