I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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