So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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