you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
