Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
