I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
