you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
