Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
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So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
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Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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