I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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