Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
