and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
