Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
