my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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